English 8
Mr. H. Salsich
16 September 2009
Essay #1
(TS) How many families do you know, where the children call their father by his first name? (C) In To Kill a Mockingbird, that is one of the first things that becomes evident. (C) Even though the children call him by his first name, the father loves the children very much. (C) Also, one of the children’s friends, Dill, comes from a loveless family. (CS) Although every family is different, family is everywhere.
(TS) How many families do you know, where the children call their father by his first name? (C) In To Kill a Mockingbird, that is one of the first things that becomes evident. (C) Even though the children call him by his first name, the father loves the children very much. (C) Also, one of the children’s friends, Dill, comes from a loveless family. (CS) Although every family is different, family is everywhere.
(TS) In the book, To Kill a Mockingbird, one of the most important themes so far is family. The book is written in first person by Jem’s sister, Scout (SD) Scout talks about her childhood with her brother Jem, her father Atticus, and her cook, Calpurnia. (C) Also, early in the book, you learn that Jem’s mother had died when the children were young. (C) Plus, you learn that their father was a lawyer, and they were basically only watched by Calpurnia. (SD) Another family that we learn about is the Haverford family. (C) When Jem and Scout meet Dill; he mentions that he has no father. (C) In addition, we learn that he is from Meridian, Mississippi, and he is spending the summer with his aunt. (SD) Lastly, we learn about the Radley family. (C) The Radley’s have a very bad son, who we find out, cut his father’s leg with a pair of scissors. (C) We also learn that the Radley family kept to themselves. (CS) This is why I feel that the biggest theme in this book, so far, is family.
(TS) I believe that the theme of family affects my life. (SD)My family, obviously, is a big part of my life. (C)I have a mother, a father and a half-sister. (C)My family is very supportive of everything that I do, which helps me stay confident, and succeed at most things. (SD)My friends’ families also affect my life. (C)One of my best friends, Tyler, recently moved to Tennessee due to his mom transferring with her job, as you can assume, this had a large affect on me. (C)In addition, my friends’ families affect my life when I spend time at one of my friends houses; if I am nice to a friend’s parent, they won’t mind if I hang out with that friend, if I am not nice to a friend’s parent, they will not like it if I spend time with that friend. (SD) Lastly, neighboring families affect me. (C) Some of my neighbors are very nice, and friendly, some of them are very smart; this helps me with some schoolwork. If there is something that I need help with that my parents don’t understand, sometimes my neighbor will help me out with it. (SD) Also, some of my neighbors are good friends of mine and they are very fun to hang out with. This is a great quality, but sometimes they are distracting from things like homework. (CS) Overall, I feel that family affects my life in both positive and negative ways.
(TS) Throughout this essay, I have shown how family can affect people’s lives in different ways. (C) If you have a very loving family, you will be different from somebody that has an unloving family, or even no family. (C) Also, families help other families out. (CS) In all, each family is different, and has a different affect on the children in the family, or can affect another family.
i liked all the commentary you showed about your own family. it really fits in with the 1st paragraph
ReplyDeletei think on the last sentence in the 2nd paragraph, that you could substitute "in conclusion" with something else. in conclusion, to me, seems very bland and expected.
in the second sentence, you say "obviously". i think this is uneceessary, because we dont know that your family is a big part of your life