Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Essay #7

Essay #7
Fear
Ryan
10/28/09
8 English
Mr. H. Salsich

Fear

(TS) How big of an impact does fear have on your life? (SD) Weather it’s a fear of the dark, a fear of people not liking you, or a fear of change, your fears will govern your decisions. (C) Since many children are scared of the dark, they may keep the lights on so they do not get scared; although this is a small decision, it was made due to the child’s fear. (C) A larger example of this would be if somebody chose to go to the same school as their friends, as opposed to the person going to a nicer college. (SD) Also, fear can change the way you think of things. (C) If you hear a movie is very scary, you might not want to see it because you think that it will be too scary. (C) On the other side of this, you might want to get scared for a rush. (SD) Lastly, people who were very scared of something at one point may not find it scary at later. In fact, they may even find it very laughable! (C) Being scared of the dark is a great example of this, once the person gets enough courage to face their fear; they might even gain a lot of confidence. (C) If somebody gets enough confidence from this, they could even be happy that they were scared of it in the first place! (CS) Fear, being something that can alter your decisions, change the way you think about things, and fear can even give you confidence.

(TS) The scariest moment in my life occured when I was five years old, and it was at Disney World. I went into an interactive movie, and I freaked out. (SD) The first thing that troubled me was the sensation of things touching my feet. (C) I was on my mom's lap and I lifted my legs up as high as they could go. (C) When I felt my feet being touched, I did not understand that this went along with the movie, like everybody else did. (SD) The thing that really scared me was the snake. (C) On the screen there was a snake that hissed, and as it hissed, water sprayed us. (C) After the water sprayed, the snake got bigger and bigger. (C) As if this wasn't enough, we were wearing 3D glasses! (SD) At this point, I started screaming and my parents decided that we had to leave. (C) There were supposed to be people who would help us out of the theater if we had to leave, but of course, there were none this time. (C) My mother and father found a door and we all went in. Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, the door lead to the basement, and locked behind us. (C) After about 10 minutes, we found a way out. There was a security guard on the other side of the door who was very surprised that somebody had come out through the basement. (CS) This was, by far, the scariest thing that ever happened to me.

3 comments:

  1. Ryan, I'm not sure why you have only one paragraph posted, but this could be one of your best essays. I did notice some little mistakes, however, so be very careful.

    GOOD LUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ryan,

    I LOVE the fist two sentences in your first body paragraph. In some parts of the paragraph, I hear "scared" and "scary" repeated many times. Make sure to change around sentences to make them flow as much as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ryan,
    I really enjoyed reading this. The way you made the conections to fear in the topic sentences was great! I didnt see very many mistakes an i agree with what cooper said try to ake it "flow" more. Overall it is excellent though.

    ReplyDelete